Just Shoot Me

Hey guys. I have loads to blog, but this thing has been bugging me for the whole day, so I'm blogging about this first.

Ummm... Well, words cannot describe what I'm feeling right now. That's true.

Okay, I'll tell you a story. About what happened in school today.

Today, was extremely cloudy. I also don't know why so cloudy. I thought it was going to be a normal day. It certainly wasn't. Everything was normal during taklimat (briefing) and perhimpunan (assembly). When perhimpunan was about to end, the Form 5 AJKs called me up and said to me: 'Prepare your bullet proof vest, Noel.' I noticed that she only said that to me.

Of course I was freaking confused. So never mind, me and all the AJKs in the Prefects went into the Bilik Disiplin a.k.a. Discipline Room a.k.a. Miss Low's Room a.k.a. ROOM OF HELL. Now who wouldn't be shivering?

As we walked into the heavily air-conditioned room, my palms were freezing. When I saw Miss Low and Puan Parames sitting behind a desk, my heart plummeted 50 feet down. I had a bad feeling of what was gonna happen. I couldn't be any more correct. All of us AJK lined up in front of them, just like criminals when they are about to get shot.

And, the shooting began.

Miss Low and Puan Parames started with the questions. About the calon pengawas (Candidate Prefect). She said a load of crap about how crappy our nomination system was. She even compared us to the Pengawas Pusat Sumber!!! DAFUQ?

Then, she asked: 'Who nominated the three Malay Pengawases (Furqan, Zul and Raja Lelaki)?'

I raised my hand meekly. Then teacher went on and on and on about their discipline problems. I... Don't really wanna say what she said, but words like bad, undisciplined, fights, violence, arguments and even the word rotten flew around. I could only stand there, clutching my file tightly as the bullets shot right through me.

I was silent throughout the exchange. But I wanted to scream at her: 'STFU!!! You don't know a F*CK about them!!!' Especially when she said: 'You, pengawases only see their surface. You don't know their background. Maybe you are their friends, but nobody understands their records better than I do.'

HELLO?? TEACHER?? TEACHER MISS?? WHAT KIND OF CRAP ARE YOU GIVING ME??!!!

Oh God. I... Really... I still respect teacher, but this.... Has brought me close to the line.

And you know what? She's not the worst. The real Monster is Puan Parames. As Miss Low was shooting us about keeping her in the dark about the calon Pengawas thing, and we were all ridden with bullets, Puan Parames just sat there and stared at us one-by-one with her wide, wide Indian eyes. I find the meaningless stares creepy but when I found out that she already was informed about the calong pengawas thingy, but she never bothered to speak up!!! Not even one measly word!

And there was another case. With a Form 3 Pengawas. The girl was a total beetch. She was moving school, so she resigned. But apparently she didn't like that school so now she's back at mine. And teacher straightaway gave her a tie!!! She didn't even made her into a calon! And when we asked Puan Parames why she got to pass so easily. She gave us utter bullshit about her school-changing-situation. UTTER BULLSHIT. And she said once that we were in short of Pengawases. So if we were, then why the FACK did you fire the 3 boys??!!! Discipline problems, you said. You said you didn't want rotten apples in out Prefectorial Board. Rotten apples?! You called them that?! Speaking of Rotten Apples, look at our darling Head Prefect. Hello? Has any school had a Head Prefect who kena gantung ( was suspended) for one week?? Talk about discipline! *swears maniacally*

Teacher, you're freaking racist and bayous, face it. Even Kuha and Dhipa, who are Indian Prefects said so. You think all the Indian Prefects in out school are trash. You disgust me, teacher. PUAN PARAMES, I have lost all my respect for you. You wanna play a cat and mouse game? The whole Prefectorial Board can play it with you.

And, Furqan, Zulhilmi and Raja Lelaki, Im really really really really really sorry. :[ I had no idea whatsoever that this would happen. REALLY. I'm sorry. I really don't know what to say, what to do. I'm... Just so sorry. :[

Don't you guys dare apologize back to me, cause I don't deserve it. You guys did nothing wrong anyway.

Hopes come tumbling down. 

Once again, I'm sorry. I'm guilty. I always will be. 

I'm not going to school tomorrow. Its gonna be Chinese New Year soon and I'm gonna go back to my hometown. Gonna miss RIMUP tomorrow. Sad. 

I'm still blue. 

I'm feeling like this song now:

Shot Angel