If you were a person, you would be 12 and taking your UPSR now.... but of course it's been put off due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Yeah, you heard me right. We're in the middle of a fucking pandemic.
Everything is disrupted.
My uni - I'm in my Year 2 of BSc Nutrition at University of Nottingham Malaysia - has been moved online. Ridiculous, considering the astronomical tuition and facility fees my parents are paying for out of their ass. I could do a huge rant about this but I'll save you my rage.
My gigs - I had to cancel most of them, no income for my music in the meantime. Fuck. All my shooting projects with NTV and Notts.fm delayed. Project I.R.A.M.A. - delayed. UCMA events - delayed as well. Of course we all got around to do things online but still... live music in the flesh... it's something else.
My internship???? Fuck. I have none. Nobody wants to employ my ancient and unimpressive ass.
My mental health? Took a huge nose-dive. I really need to see a therapist, but when I can afford it.
My friends? I have a tight-knit group that I care about. They're good for me. I'm too old to give a shit to people who don't matter. I still suck at replying texts tho.
I'm just listing things now, it's 5am I have my Microbial Food-Borne Diseases final due in 1 day lol wtf am I doing alsjflksjdf
To whom it may concern, may I offer you some updates
I have curls now, perming my hair is so fun. I love it so much. It is also burning a huge amount of money cos I always go to my favourite hairdresser who is expensive af. I kinda want to dye it half blue, but flashing back to when I had coloured hair and the maintenance........ Perhaps not
I'm into makeup now. Still figuring out how to do eyeliner on my weird-ass eyes nobody seems to be able to tell me what shape it is - hooded? Mono-lid? But catch me without blush and lipstick and you know I'm having a bad day
I'm still writing! I never stopped writing music and I think I've gotten better at it.
Would 15 year old Noel be delighted to know that she has once again picked up her white electric guitar that she was so excited to play. Now I'm equipped with much more skill and knowledge, I can't wait to start writing music with an electric guitar!
Film. My time in Taiwan really made me fall in love with film photography. I'm on that hipster shit y'know. Maybe one day I'll share some more of my favourite photos and the stories behind it.
I'ts pride month. And I'm pretty sure I'm bi. Yeah. 🌈
Music
Oh boy, music is like an integral part of my life now. Like, reading back, I've said I live for music but I never would have thought that it's actually the only thing keeping me sane and wanting to live. I've invested so much of myself in it. I'm not trying to make it big, or sell my music. I just want to create some good stuff and share it with the world.
Music is meant to be shared.
I'm so happy that I still found a core group of people willing to make music with me, post-Taiwan. I love them with all my heart.
I still miss Taiwan. Two years seemed just a blink of time compared to the 24 years I've been alive. But still, my heart aches for the place I once called home.
Anyway, this post is a mess. But I'm a mess. And it's usually a good time.
I wonder when I'll post next. Maybe it will be 10 years later?
Anyway, here is some of my new music. Hope the pandemic subsides soon so I can leave my room and hug my friends. I have things to do and shows to play.
Love,
Noel
she still has feathers
