Broken Winged Angel

I feel broken and mashed up inside. Not to mention cut and burned... Not to mention slapped, kicked and punched...

This Angel has just lost her wings... =[

Do you know what it feels to have my wings teared off me?

It feels like this=

Get it?

You probably don't. Yes, this post is entirely dedicated to you. Of course I know you don't read this damn blog. I know you're too damn busy or shit to read this pathetic post posted by this pathetic excuse of an Angel.

Well, what can I say to you? I don't know. I'm just so sad... So so sad and hurt... That you would do this to me... I'm even more saddened by the attitude you're giving me after it happened at all...

You know what the person I trusted the most said to me? She told me--
Cut him off. You should cut that freaking parasite off before he falls in love with someone else and the same thing happens... If it can happen once, it can happen again babe.. He's just gonna fall back on you when he's hurt AGAIN... You're not just some booty call... Let him know that... 


You see? Thats what this situation is like, from the outside. You cheating on me for another girl. Thats what they see. But I don't see that. Why? I'm blinded by love? I think so.

You told me it was a game. And you promised nothing would ever happen. But then?

*sigh*

You know what made me not suspect a single thing? Just blind trust. I really really trusted you because you gave me your word.

*Huh*

To think those lonely nights when I laid on my bed missing you so much it made me feel so so empty. To think those blushes from the teases of my friends were so hot and red. To think that I smile every time I see your name.

Yeah. To think.

Is it all over? Tell me that. I'm curious. I told you, I don't hate you. I'm scared. Of YOU. Scared that you'll bandage up my heart with sweet words and then drop and trample over my heart for a shinier, newer one...

What should I do? What should you do? What should we do?

confused

You plucked the feathers off my wings. One by one... Now, I'm a Broken Winged Angel who can't fly back to safety...

Continue

                   January 27 at 10:34pm

               how can i trust you anymore?

January 28 at 6:33pm Report

... How can you trust me anymore? ... I can't answer you... Just follow how you want to think... If you really don't believe me that's ok... Coz I don't wanna care anymore... I'm really tired...... Sorry...

January 28 at 6:50pm

So you're saying you don't care about anything anymore? Just because you are tired? You are so disappointing...

January 28 at 7:04pm Report

Think like that as you wish... I didn't say I don't care anymore... I just don't want to care now

January 28 at 7:49pm

=[

For those who actually care about me, I need to explain slightly. This is not a comment. This is a message. Our conversation. 

I don't really know why I posted this. Its stupid. Maybe I'm angry. Maybe I'm sad. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I'm heart broken. I don't know. 

I wanna lash out and hurt you the way you've hurt me. But I'm not that low. I'm better than that. 

What should I do know? You saying sorry doesn't cover that. I'm not saying I need more. I'm just startled that you chose to run away. 

You have to remember. You caused the damn problem. You were the one who promised me NOTHING would go wrong. You were the one who fell in love with another.  

But I was the stupid one. Stupid enough to have trusted you. I keep reminding my self... You promised. You promised me it was just a game. You said nothing could break our bond. You promised. And I sincerely believed that, you know? 

I feel so so so betrayed. 

You ripped me apart. Again. 

Should I forgive? =[

You

Another Emo post.

Well, things have going downhill since that day... Figure out who is who yourself. I don't have the kind of mood anymore. Bye

                     January 24 at 3:42pm

                HellO~ 好久不见!　=]你好么?　
                (Long time no see! How are you!)

 January 24 at 6:31pm Report

Haha... In Chinese? ;)

January 25 at 4:06pm

我要华语拿A!!!我要进步... ><
(I wanna get an A for my Chinese!!! I wanna improve... XD)

January 25 at 6:20pm Report

Lol... I can't type Chinese ... I'm on my iPad currently :D... Can't use my comp

January 25 at 11:06pm

Your words are like a hard slap to my face. What do you want from me?

Sent via Facebook Mobile

January 26 at 8:30pm Report

Hehe... Nothing ^.^

January 26 at 8:39pm

=[

January 26 at 8:44pm Report

Lol.... What do you want me to want from you? :-)

January 26 at 8:47pm

what did your status mean?

January 26 at 8:52pm Report

Hey... That's not you okay sweetie? Not talking about you nia..>.<

Noel Ng January 26 at 8:57pm

well... that hurt

January 26 at 9:00pm Report

Really I'm not talking about you!...:(... Sorry...

January 26 at 9:00pm

then? explain please?

January 26 at 9:01pm Report

Ugh... How should I say... That's my girlfriend...

January 26 at 9:03pm

.....

January 26 at 9:05pm Report

Erm... And we just got broke up...

January 26 at 9:06pm

i'm blank

January 26 at 9:08pm Report

Okay.... I'm so sorry...

January 26 at 9:09pm

erm... explain more clearly pls before i go emo?

January 26 at 9:13pm Report

...okay.... So...... I accidentally really loved my gf... But then she broke up with me, saying that she wants to be my gf just because she felt lonely, and when I want to love her, she said she wants to break up with me... And that's what happened...

January 26 at 9:17pm

thanks for making me feel stupid

January 26 at 9:20pm Report

Wth?... Wait wait!!! What's happening?

January 26 at 9:21pm

ask yourself

January 26 at 9:25pm Report

What? Hey... I'm really sorry... I didn't know things could go like this... But what is over is over... I cannot be with her again anymore... And I will let her go...
So now what are you thinking?

January 26 at 9:51pm Report

Noel?.... Uh... I feel really sorry... Don't be sad please?... I really don't want things to get worse... I now only have you left... Don't ignore me...please? I'm really sorry

 January 27 at 10:34pm

how can i trust you anymore?

you pierced me heart again.

Confused

Did you see my post? The last one? It was filled with sugar rush right? Well... (Warning!) This is NOT.

Read this.
I felt sad about how we became... But I feel more stupid to think that you really love me...
Yes, we have been together, but after all, you don't care. You don't love me, not even like me... you said that I was selfish... But aren't you? Just because you're lonely, but that doesn't mean you can pick me up, and then throw me down so hard. I just want to apologize for the trouble caused to you.
Sorry


That... Really... Hurt...


But I don't even know if its pointed to me. 


I don't want it to. 


I cried for this. 


I need an explanation...

=]

36... Hey~ ^.^ It's my pleasure to have a friend like you, and I seem to had a crush on you since standard 5~>.< By the way, you're so MATURE~ Can't you grow abit? OTL...:-p 


Those were the magic words that made me smile...

But... Yeah... I was wondering why he used friend... It felt so plain... Hmm... And one other thing, why did he say... Crush since standard 5? O.O According to my diary/notebook... Yeah, it didn't happen that way... You told me you liked ZQ first... And that was like a punch in my stomach... But I couldn't stop... So... Yeah, I keep going... And... Result?

Well... I got what I wanted... =]

My Baby Pendek Phuah's Birthday!

As some of you may know, it was Phuah's 15th birthday!!! Awww... I'm so proud... XD 

Phuah and her present... (expensive!)

Yay! Dhipa's back!!! ;]

Woohoo!1 Malaysia.. LOL!

Shorty with another shorty... XD

Cute!!!

Crazy St John Gang!!! ;]

Joyanne and Phuah... Sweet!

Shorty & Pendek!

Haha.. Stupid! XD

Noob Lam... XD

I wasn't joking! =]

Even more stupid! 

XD Her Birthday card!!! It was... So hard to get ALL of her friends to sign! But, yeah... She's worth it... ;]

*Yikes!* (I'm a Gamer too!)

*Yikes!* This is gonna be one of those kinds of posts that has no really meaning... I'm just gonna keep writing until something comes up in my mind I wanna blog about... So, its not gonna fit in with the title... Oh well...

Hmm... Are you guys interested in games? Well, I know he is... *sigh* He's always gaming... =.= Its... annoying... 

Oh well. What games do I play? (as if you're interested) Ok, the games I play are mostly extremely childish. Have you ever heard of Bejeweled Blitz? 

Yeah, you switch those colour things around and if you get three in a row, it disappears and you get marks... And then if its like different patterns, its like bonus, and like a lightning comes off and then you get freakin' high marks... LOL I like it. Its all instinct you don't have to over-think it... So I like it... =]

Then, there's the other Facebook game. Zuma Blitz 

Its something that resembles Bejeweled but the frog shoots out coloured balls that makes them disappear... LOL Its cute. I like it. For the same reasons as Bejeweled Blitz... 

And? Haha. This might be of a shock to you. I play... World of Warcraft. 

No, I ain't shittin' you! I DO play it!!! Well, my brother influenced me... He introduced it to me... You must be thinking now:'Rich Bitch!' Hell no. Its a private server... So its free... XD *evil laughs* Its fun, I mean, of course I'm not a high level, I'm still a noobie. But the graphic is nice... And it made me talk to my brother more... So, yeah. Its good. =]

And? Hmm... My Nintendo DS... 

For those who's been living under a rock, THIS is a Nintendo DS

Cool right? It has a touch screen at the bottom... =]

Anyways, I love playing it... Its AWESOME! 

My favorite game is Harvest Moon. XD Its a farming game where you must do stuff... Its FUN!!! 

This is the boy version...

This is the girl version...

I play both of them.. So... Oh come one. I can hear you sniggering at how childish I am. =.= Trust me, its addictive. Onece you play it, hooked for life! Plus, its not the kind of game which you pass one level and stuff, its never ending. You have to achieve goals and stuff... *arghhhh* I don't know how to promote it... 

Ok, if you play it, I'll show you this amazing webpage! *click it* Its a walkthrough to help you with the game... =] 

And? I like to play Yoshi's Island too...

Haha! Its cute! Its fun too...

And? I like to play Sims? On DS and on PC... But I don't have the PC one... You have to buy it for God's sake... 

Its really fun too!!! =]

As you may have noticed, the games I play is mostly childish. Well, I'm Childish. So What?!

Cheers~ 

The First Day of School 2011

Hah! That sounds really boring right? Actually, it's quite exciting!

Ok, the night before, I set my alarm. Set it to 5.15am... And? I went of to Dreamland...

I awoke. Well, I was having a dream. But then, that was the kind of dream that you wake feeling scared but then forget immediately... I checked my phone. It said: 5.12am... What? So early? I was about to dump my phone and go back to sleep when i did the Math... It was 3 minutes away from my alarm!

LOL... So I jumped up and went to brush myself... Got dressed, hmmm... My uniform was slightly tight... Oh well, it looked good (or so I say... =p) I had no tie... I washed it and I didn't know how to tie it back again... I put in my contacts... (Yes, I wear them... Hah! They're totally transparent... Not those colour ones!!!) That took a slight amount of time...

I went downstairs and surprise, surprise, my maid wasn't up yet... Urgh. I woke her up to make breakfast for me while I wore my shoes and stuff... Then, I waited... Oh yay! It wasn't even 6 yet... I was... too early...

So finally, my van came... It was strange cuz everyone was so sleepy... They were all nodding off... Got to school... I was early so no one I knew was there yet... And I walked around again. Looking for people to socialize with... Then I found Meng Fatt, who I forced to tie my tie for me.. *evil laughs* He's a sweet guy.

After that, I met up with the Joy's. Yes! I hugged Joyanne! And we were gonna give each other our Christmas prezzies but then we went to taklimat (briefing) first... We were all excited cuz this was Form 3! We went from the oldest in morning session to the babies in morning session... It was a weird sensation. We were being bossed around! Yikes.

The duty at perhimpunan (assembly). It was confusing, but then it was exciting too. I couldn't keep myself from enjoying myself... I also caught up with Phuah and Ash... It was all giggles and fun... =]

We had a speech form our dear principle... We did not enjoy that. I mean, he was talking about... LOVE... Eww.

Yay! Then we went into class! It was at the bottom floor, so there were no stairs to fend!!! XD Awesome!

We just got into class when we prefects had to go duty already... O.O That was really really fast. And then it was like rush hour... We were eating, and the bell for the students went. We were gaping at each other. Gah. Even tough there was no time, we literally ate slowly and dragged the time... Then we rushed around asking those stray seniors about the duty place... It was so confusing! Then when we settled down, the bell rang again! And it was over. Oh dear.

We then went back to class. Me and Phuah were in the same class, which is the first class (supposed to be best class!) and Joyanne and Ash were in the 2nd class. There was a hole in between our classes so we could chat... ;] My teachers were quiet... Very quiet. And so is my class. Wow. First time.

Woohoo! The school bell rang signaling the end of school. Wow. That was really really really fast! Time passed in a blur in morning session. It was so quick! We were slightly hyper from the end of school and we four girls linked hands and started walking down the slope towards the gate.

Suddenly, the SKIES OPENED. It started raining HEAVILY! It was really a shock. We started running towards the gate. Unfortunately, so did everyone... Yeah. I was cursing because I was holding Joyanne's Christmas prezzie (A L.J. Smith book-- The Forbidden Game) And I seriously didn't want to ruin it on the day I got it! So I screamed goodbye to them and I ran to my van cursing all the way... 'What the hell?! Oh My God! I can't believe this!!! Oh Sh*t!!!'


Arrived at the van. And we all got home! Yay!!!

So, the first day of school ended in rain... But, I enjoyed it so much!!! =] Haha! You must think I'm a bloody nerd... Oh well.

Cheers! =]

Last day of 2010!!!

Yep! I've finally done it! I've survived the whole 2010!!! =] haha!

This is what Teressa posted on FB

cute right?

Blah blah blah....don't wanna recall the year.. Not very happy year...

So, resolutions? ;]

1. Slim down!!! to 50kg!!! (and REMAIN IT!!!)
2. Grow taller!!! At least 163cm!!! 
3. Study for PMR!!! Straight A's!!!
4. Get a good jawatan (place?) in the prefects!!! 
5. Up my piano and guitar skills!!!
6. Learn ONE new insturment!!!
7. and, actually write a song? A real one? Which I can show off?

Yeah, that's about it... =] haha! stupid right? Oh well.... Wish everyone an AWESOME new year yeah?