What Jorge Luis Borges Said

I currently have a thousand feels zooming all over my body and I don't know what to do about it.

It's probably just PMS but it's so intense, y'know? No. You don't know. I know. It's my body. I know what's going on.

I know I should talk about work, but I don't want to. There is nothing to talk about. Well there is, but talking about those things just makes me angry and I don't want to be angry. I want to be happy. Or numb. Whichever comes first.

I would show you some of the internship photos at work, but I don't have any. I'm too shy to take out the camera and snap away because people might think I'm weird.

I'm just constantly terrified of embarrassing myself but I guess that's what I keep doing everyday.

***********************

I guess I'm quite content being alone.

It is a rather queer feeling. This loneliness. It hits you when you least expect it. I find that I feel the most lonely in the ktm station.

When you're waiting for the train, you see people. You don't know where they're from. You don't know where their destination is. But you will be sharing perhaps 5 minutes on the same train. This shared conscience doesn't really gives you a sense of belonging. It only gives you a feeling of temporariness. You know your short acquaintance will end. You may never ever see that person you saw sitting opposite of you, with her earphones in, shutting the world out. What about the woman with the sunken cheekbones? What of her? Will you ever see her demure and sad face ever again?

This feeling.

It makes me feel small. It makes me feel lonely.

*********************** 

I have too many thoughts that no one wants to hear. 

 ***********************

 

Letting my thoughts fall

***********************

It may seem to you like a jumble of nonsense but this is what I have to deal with on daily basis. Just imagine. 

***********************

 “I am not sure that I exist, actually. I am all the writers that I have read, all the people that I have met, all the ones that I have loved; all the cities I have visited.” —      Jorge Luis Borges

I am tired. Sleep well to the pitter-patter against your window pane.

Jumbled Angel

URL Change

Hi Humans!

I am here to announce something of utmost importance.

As you can see, I have changed my blog template. It is now bright and beautiful - something I've been trying to achieve since I've started blogging.

Do you like my new header?

I designed it myself. I know it's extremely plain, but I'm afraid if I added anything to it it'll ruin the whole thing.

Where did I come up with this name for my blog?

Well, honestly, I've had that phrase in my head for years now. It all started when I saw Teressa's (@CheekyTeressa_X) photo on her facebook page.(Oh and you should check out her photography facebook page: Teressa's Photography. It's gorgeous.) She went to the Zoo and she photographed one of her friends holding out a large feather. I stared at the photo and the phrase just popped in my head. Ooh. Noel was feeling poetic then.

And then I guess it has just stuck since then. If you follow me on tumblr (which I'm assuming you don't because nobody follows me on tumblr), I am a-feather-for-a-dream there. I suppose I thought that the name is tumblr enough (not really).

And what is the announcement of utmost importance? I'm getting to that.

My blog has been darkangel3663.blogspot.com since the dawn of time. Well, basically since 2008, back when I started the blog out of pure boredom. You can read my first ever post in the world here: NOEL WAS SO AWKWARD BACK THEN. I cringe at my grammar errors, but it seems so ever cruel to change 12-year-old Noel's first post on her blog. I was such a dork. Not that that has changed.

Anyway, me being the 12-year-old that I was, seemed to be obsessed with the fact that I had to have a cool online persona and have a dark and mysterious name. And.. I decided on Dark Angel because it was cool. And I like being cool. I even designed a logo guys. I'm not even joking:

I don't remember how old I was when I did this. But I remember I was not 12 anymore. (Yes, using Paint; because I'm fabulous like that)

I am such an artist.

I created this blog when I finished primary school. And thus, finishing secondary school, I am going to change my url. It won't affect those who already follow me on blogger, but I don't doubt that it will confuse some of my usual readers who type in my url into the bar the old-fashioned-way (Baba I'm talking about you).

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I AM GOING TO CHANGE MY URL TO

www.a-feather-for-a-dream.blogspot.com

It's important. Very important. 

I tried googling how to redirect people from my old url. And there was a lot of technical terms on the blog that made me want to sob. However, for my loyal followers, I am willing to give it a shot. Just for you guys. 

I'll be changing my url tomorrow okay? Meanwhile, I am still currently www.darkangel3663.blogspot.com. However, starting from 8pm tomorrow (Malaysian time), I am changing to www.a-feather-for-a-dream.blogspot.com. 

I hope you guys have fun in the meantime. 

(Please don't stop reading my blog once I change my url. Please.)

Big Changes Are Happening To This Angel

Creep - Radiohead

Song: Creep
Singer/Band: Radiohead
Album: Pablo Honey
Released: 1992
Genre: Alternative Rock, Grunge

Original Cover Art

Lyrics & Chords:
G
When you were here before
                         B
Couldn't look you in the eyes
                 C
You look like an angel
                   Cm
Your skin makes me cry

                 G
You float like a feather
              B
In a beautiful weather
             C
I wish I was special
                  Cm
You're so f*cking special

Chorus:
               G
     But I'm a creep
           B
     I'm a wierdo
                              C
     What the hell am I doin' here
                    Cm
     I don't belong here


I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I wanna perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around

You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special....

(then something like this...)
oooh... she's running away....she's running...run..run...run..ruuuuun

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so f*cking special
Wish I was special...

Taken from ultimate-guitar.com

Noel's Lyric Interpretation:
The lyrics are basically talking about someone who thinks he's unworthy of a particular someone's love. He is conflicted with wanting to be loved and his self-loathe. Battling with his own demons. I guess most of the people in the world, especially teenagers can relate to the song, as most of us are struggling with our weight, our looks and having a crush on someone deemed 'out of our league'. It's honestly a very depressing song. However, combined with the spacey feel of the guitars and drums, it gives you a vibe, like you're floating in outer space.

♪  ♫  ♪  ♫  ♪  ♫  ♫  ♪  ♫  ♪  ♫  ♪

The other day I had a request from Yiwena (@yWtorres9) to do this song. It's a really great song with lyrics that hit close to heart.

I wanted to play this song on guitar so you could actually see my face lol, but instead I chose to play the piano because well, the chords are hard to play and I'm lazy to practice.

So obviously I went out of tune in some places. Sorry about that. I can't hit high notes yo. I can't really sing tbh. But yeah. It gave Yiwena goosebumps.

Mmmnnfffff. Fun fact: I uploaded the video using The Star's internet. Cheerio.

I'm open to requests and stuff. Drop me a comment or tweet :)

You should subscribe to my Youtube Channel : Noel's Youtube Channel

Creepy Angel

Post SPM Feelings + 2014

I guess I want to tell you a long-winded story about how I was the last person to end my SPM in my school because I take EST and how lonely the school was and how annoying it felt to know that everyone had finished except you and that the girl who was taking the exam with you didn't bother to share tips and how to answer the paper and you leave the exam room feeling so odd and contradicted.

But I won't. Because that would make me lame. And I don't want to be lame.

Hah.

Alright. Let me list out the things I said I would do after SPM.

1. Buy a new guitar. 
2. Get a laptop. 
3. Get a smartphone. 
4. Work out. 
5. Dye my hair. 
6. Drive everywhere. 
7. Learn cooking.
8. Get a boyfriend.

Hah.

Now let me list out the things I actually did after SPM

1.  Got fat.
2. Acquired insomnia. 
3. Read books. 
4. Failed to update blog. 
5. Got and internship. 

Hah.

*Moans like a walrus* Helpppppp I don't know what to tell you guys.

Have you any idea how many drafts I started but did not complete? I just had a spur-of-a-moment thing and decided to write something, anything, but then I would get distracted by butterfly fluttering about or something and float away. Yup. Attention span of a squirrel.

 Okay. I'm gonna make another list y'know. So that ya'll know what I have in store for you in 2014 (this should be a whole new '2014 I'm gonna...' post but MEH)

1. Book reviews. 
2. Music covers.
3. Food posts. 
4. Travel posts. 
5. OOTD posts (that one I'm still contemplating mainly because I'm currently overweight and all and my outfits usually suck anyway) 
6. Nicer blog template + layout.

So yeah. 2014.  May you be fun and awesome and stuff.

Oh yes, one more thing. On 1/1/2014 I went out with some of my church buddies

Anyway we were deciding what to do, and we wanted to watch movies. So we were discussing what to watch, and then there was this 18 over movie - Riddick. And I said: 'But we can't watch that.' And they all stared and my and said: 'Noel, it's 2014, we're 18 now.'

And I had to process that fact in my brain for a few minutes.

Oh yeah. 18 this year. Hmm. But honestly, I don't want to watch 18 over movies. They are much more gory and filled with swear words. I would rather watch something like.... Frozen (yes I'm desperate to watch it) or something superhero-ey.

So ironic. 18 and still wants to watch G-rated movies.

Anyway, I just came back from Thailand and my Hometown, Kedah.

So I guess I'll be writing on that soon (VERY SOON OKAY)

Um well, this is an extremely awkward post.

Have a great 2014 everyone. May it be the year you smile when you remember.

Sneakily Using Somebody Else's Internet Angel

Stu(dying)?

Hiatus

Welcome to my fugly blog. Where everything is fugly.

I know, I changed the background AGAIN. But it was by accident I swear. I was just tweaking the template instead of studying and I inserted this JPEG made by Austin because I am @NoelHasFeathers which directly translates in Malay to Noel Mempunyai Bulu which translates back into English again to Noel Has Body Hair. I do have body hair so... It's not that funny ok?

Then he compensated his rudeness by drawing a nicer version. Bling bling Noel yo.

Hahaha thanks Austin! So I used it anyway.

EEEEK BUT MY BLOG NOT NICEEEEE. SIGH.

Anyway. I swear that I will spend like a whole freaking day making my blog look nicer. Not as messy as now. And as I've said before, there are TONS of plans for my bloggie dearest! So come back in 2014 lol

As you can see from the title. I'm going on a Hiatus. I just learned this word. Well basically I've been going on a Hiatus since the starting of the year. I've had so much events that I've wanted to blog about, but I resisted. I know like 20 years later, I'll regret what I did because I don't have anything to look back on my final year in Secondary school. Sure, there's facebook an all, but there's nothing that I  wrote, y'know?

But I hope it's worth it.

Okay, bye. Err. I don't know when I'll show up again ._______________.

So here's a photo of me recently.

Those aren't even my flowers.

Hiatus Angel